The Drivers

No more diapers!  No more sippy cups! Mama’s throwing away her diaper bag…okay, I won’t do that (cuz I really like it) so I’ll put it away in their baby box…but you get the point!  We’ve turned a corner ladies and gentlemen.

We left for vacation as tired and cranky toddlers and parents, and returned as relaxed and rejuvenated children and parents.  The cruise was a great bonding experience for the Drivers.  Jason and I got a lot of alone time (we sent the kids off to childcare on the cruise ship) which was much needed.  The kids got out of their usual routine (which can be very scary sometimes with young children) which forced them to be more independent (in many aspects) but also look out for one another.  Several times Miles would hold Lila back from a big ocean wave.  Lila would always make sure she and Miles got ice cream cones right after breakfast, lunch, snack, and then dinner.  And Jason and myself, well, we made sure we always had an umbrella drink in one hand and each others hands in the other.

I’m not sure if cruises are our thing, but it was a great experience and I’m glad we did it.  Now we can say, been there done that.  I like the all-inclusive package of a cruise, but I don’t want to be limited to just staying on the ship.  I like the idea of jumping in a car on a whim and going for a drive, or go for a swim at the beach or at the hotel pool.  I think if we do another all-inclusive package, it will be at a vacation resort.  None the less, we all had a great time on our cruise and we are thankful for the experience and most thankful that we have turned a corner.

Last night our family was invited to a friend’s home for dinner.  They have a super cute little girl who just turned four years-old, and for an only-child, she is the nicest, friendliest and sweetest little girl that I have met.  And most of you know that I have met a lot of children…  I’m not just saying this because there is a possibility her mother may be reading this blog.  First of all, she loves being a “big sister” to Lila and doted on her all night.  Most kids have a hard time sharing their toys (especially their new birthday toys), but for this little girl, she is incredibly nice.  Without asking, she is always sharing, offering, suggesting, compromising, and making sure everyone is having fun.  At one point during the night, I saw her digging out toys for Miles to play with, and apologizing that she didn’t have any trucks or cars.  She assured us that next time we come over, she would have toys for Miles.  Most kids would be like, “If you don’t like any of my toys, oh well, your loss!”  It sounds funny to say this, but she is a very well-adjusted child. 

One of the really neat things I got to observe last night was the difference between boys and girls.  This little girl loves to draw, color and write.  Her pictures have details and her writing is impeccable.  She asked me how to spell ’Feel Better Mommy.’  I was flabbergasted at how well she was writing…for a four year-old!  Part of me wanted to show Miles her writing and say, “See Miles, look how pretty she writes!!”  But I withheld.  Miles was on other side of the house playing with some toys making crashing, screeching, and siren sounds with his mouth.  Coloring and writing would be the last thing he would want to do at a friend’s home.  Boys are just busy.  Well, our boy is particularly busy.  Everyday, Jason and I try to sit down with Miles and work on his letters, but Miles gets impatient and wants to get up and play. 

Do I wish Miles could write just as well as this little girl?  Of course I do!  But I know it’s something that Miles is not interested in now, and he probably won’t be journaling any time soon.  What I have to say about Miles is that he has a wonderful and creative imagination.  He’s great at telling stories and he includes much detail and suspense.  He also loves music so that is something we encourage a lot of in our home.  I was talking about this with another girlfriend of mine recently.  By the time Miles gets to high school, much or all of his writing will be done on the computer.  There is something to be said about having nice penmanship, but the reality is, some kids are not as interested as others. 

This story kind of reminds me of an interaction my parents had a few years ago.  When my father’s dementia started to really take over, we (my parents and my brother) took my father in to a Neurology appointment.  I remember the physician asked my father to write a short sentence (a Neurologist may ask a patient to write a short sentence as part of a Mental Status Examination).  I was sitting across the room and couldn’t see what he had written.  Afterwards, he put his pencil down and looked at his wife and smiled. I saw my mom tear up.  I thought immediately that my dad probably wrote some random words and letters on the paper.  When I peeked over to see what he had written, in his most perfect penmanship, my father wrote: “I love my wife.” 

This is probably the last sentence he wrote before he declined significantly.

Miles: Whyyyyy do you have to go to work today? You always go to work!

Mama: I know it’s hard to understand, but mama needs to go to work so that we can live in our house, have food on our plates, have warm clothes to wear, and be able to buy fun things. People go to work to make money, and we use money to pay for things.  Money doesn’t grow on trees ya know. 

Miles: (all he hears is blah, blah, blah)…I want moneeeee to grow on treeeees!!!

Mama: I know you don’t want mama to go to work.  I don’t want to go to work either.  I want to stay home and play with you, but you know what, when I get home, we’ll do lots of playing together, okay?!

Miles:  (sniffle)…okay.

Mama: (my heart drops and my eyes get teary as I watch Miles plaster his face against the window with a look of despair like, “Don’t leave me!” as I drive off in my car. Sigh! Working mom’s guilt.)

Everyday I am very thankful that I am able to leave my kids at home with their daddy and not at a daycare or at a sitter, thankful that we are able to be a one-income household, and thankful I have job security at my work.  Fact is- I love my work, I love what I do, and I went to school, which seemed like forever, so I want to use my degree.  Only a few folks can honestly say that they look forward to going to their job everyday.  I’m passionate about what I do.  It’s a dream job, really! 

When Miles was born, I took off the first six months to be home with him.  I enjoyed being at home with Miles, but I  remembered how isolating and lonesome it was to be a stay-at-home mom.  All of my friends were at work.  I couldn’t really do any playgroups because Miles was still an infant.  What I think was most challenging about being a stay-at-home parent was that Miles was a colicky baby.  He was constantly crying, fussing, and puking.  He had what we called his, “witching hour” between 3pm to 9pm- this required both Jason and I to do the 5 S’s with Miles (Shush, Suck, Swaddle, Swing, and turned him Sideways).   There were some days I went a little stir crazy.  Part of my personality is to always be on the go.  When I am home on the weekends with the kids, I can’t sit still.  We are always out doing something.  I enjoy being with them, but I also enjoy being out and about in the city going to parks, restaurants, shopping, and visiting with friends.

What I’ve learned over the past four years (since being a mom) is that you gotta do what feels right to you.  I love being a mom, but I also love going to work.  When I come home, I feel rejuvenated.  I am full of energy and excitement to see my family.  They fill my heart with so much love.

I’ve gotten past the- ”Why can’t I be a stay-at-home-mom?!”- phase.  I’ve come to the conclusion that I am happy at work, and happiest when I come home to my family.  This doesn’t resolve the fact that I feel guilty when I leave my kids in the morning, but I try to remain focused and positive- I’m gonna go to work today and as soon as I am done, I’m going to come right home to spend quality-time with them.  Happy mom equals happy family! ha

I’ve always loved the Vietnamese Lunar New Year.  I have such fond memories as a child celebrating this holiday.  I think what makes the Vietnamese and Chinese New Year so much fun is that infants to elders are involved in every aspect of this holiday (cleaning the house, shopping, cooking, baking, visiting friends and family, and attending parties).  About one month before the new year and then about a month after, folks are still celebrating and visiting each other.  Like Christmas, after it’s over, there is a sigh of relief, but the great thing about the new year is that it’s a good sigh of relief.  Good, meaning, there’s motivation, excitement, and eagerness to work harder, be prosperous, be healthier, and of course, be happier. 

This year, my brother and his kids came down to visit.  The cousins always have fun together because it’s a big playdate and pajama jam!  Unfortunately, I didn’t get pictures of them together.

All dressed up for the Tet festival

Last week, I filled three large garbage bags with toys and put them in the garage.  Some toys were old and broken, and some were in good condition.  Do you think the kids missed them? No!  They haven’t even asked for them.   Clearly, these children are not hurting for toys.  What drives Jason and I crazy is that toys these days are made mostly out of plastic and break so easily.  In addition, our kids don’t take care of them and they get bored with them so quickly.  I’d like to make a request, that if our friends and family would like to give a gift for a birthday or holiday, they save their money, or maybe put some money towards a zoo or children’s museum membership.  That way, we all get out of the house, learn, and do something different.

"I'm mad!"

Dear Miss Lila,

Not sure if you understand this, but we are done with you being 2.  Yes, we are ready for you to move past this terrible 2 stage.  Daddy and mama are constantly tired of you squishing, squeezing, smashing, and smearing your food between your fingers at every.single.meal. We’re tired of you screaming at us at the dinner table because you don’t like what we served you.  When you climb on the kitchen counter, try not to grab the knives first.  Preferably, we’d have you not climb on the counters at all.  Please refrain from dumping every single box of toys out, and then blame your brother for doing so.  There is also no need to write on the walls and rip pages out of your books.  It’s a little frustrating that you insist on peeing in your diaper, and then telling us afterwards that you peed and need to be changed.  Why can’t you tell us before you pee in your diaper?  When we say it’s time for you to go to bed, it would be nice if you could just crawl into your bed, lay there, and fall asleep.  It’s getting a little old that you are screaming and fighting with us, especially when you do this at 3am and then again at 6am!  In the morning, you wake up and give us the biggest smile and act like everything is just peachy.  Your mother, who is a clinical psychologist, has diagnosed you with Bi-polar Disorder; however, since you are only two years-old, she has reluctantly decided to withhold this diagnosis until you are of age.  In the morning, when we change your clothes [that you picked out], it would be dandy if you could continue wearing the same outfit throughout the day so that we can reduce washing extra clothes.  You have this tendency to change your clothes at least four times a day.  When we fix your hair (your curly hair is very beautiful by the way), please allow us to do so without ripping the hair clips and rubber bands out of your hair.  When we put you in your car seat, know that it is for your safety. So try to relax and prevent yourself from arching your back, kicking and screaming. Sometimes people look at us and think that we are kidnapping you.  Last but not least, when we kindly ask you do to something, please withhold from yelling , “NO!” in our face.  Know that your mama and daddy love you so much. 

Love, your tired parents.               

This fall 2011 (yes, already thinking about this!), both Miles and Lila will be enrolled in pre-school. We really like the co-op pre-school that Miles is currently attending, but the problem is that they don’t have two different classroomS, so essentially, Miles and Lila will be in the same class.  They are inseparable at home so it would be nice to find a program for both of them to attend, but be in separate classrooms.  I’ve heard some friends talking about the Montessori programs, and it sounds very interesting.  Honestly, I really don’t care what kind of curriculum the school teaches, just as long as there is  a curriculum a good blend of playing, art and academics.  But when I started looking into the Montessori programs, I had a mini heart attack.  Crap! Do we pay for our two kids to attend Montessori school, or do we pay our mortgage?  Wholly crap. That is a lot of money.  It’s almost like paying college tuition!  This is just pre-school people.  Really?! 

So I go back to the question Do we enroll both kids in the same program/classroom?  Miles current school is very affordable and the teacher and parents are very nice.  It would be very easy to transition into that school next year.  Do we enroll Miles and Lila in two different schools?  That means a lot of driving around.  Do we just bite it, and pay for a Montessori school?
I would appreciate any insight!

Actually, I love food, but especially food from New Orleans.  For Christmas, Brahm and Amanda sent us a package of gumbo mix from a farm in Arkansas.  At first, I was a little hesitant, gumbo from Arkansas?  What the heck, let’s give it a try!  We used our dutch oven that we got from Jason’s mom to cook it in.  The result- YUM-O chicken Gumbo!

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads This blog is on fire!.

Crunchy numbers

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 2,400 times in 2010. That’s about 6 full 747s.

In 2010, there were 31 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 123 posts. There were 123 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 254mb. That’s about 2 pictures per week.

The busiest day of the year was September 8th with 93 views. The most popular post that day was Follow up blog to “What 4th of July Means”.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were facebook.com, mail.yahoo.com, sippingchardonnay.blogspot.com, alphainventions.com, and statistics.bestproceed.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for captain paul jacobs, uss kirk, the lucky few the story of the uss kirk, paul jacobs was captain of the kirk, and big wooden shoes.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

Follow up blog to “What 4th of July Means” July 2010
2 comments

Home August 2008

What 4th of July means July 2009
11 comments

First day of preschool: Our handsome ‘lil devil September 2010
3 comments

Toilet Plungers March 2010
5 comments

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